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POEMS
A fabulous collection
of poems from around the world.
Short Silly Poem Database - 17
<< Now check out our 1000's of other funny short poems >>
Wit by David Darbyshire
Wit is Clever
Wit is Good
Wit is Funny,
Like it Should
Wit is an Art
Wit is Smart
Wit is a Joke
Like a Funny Bloke
Wit can be Bad
Wit can make you Sad
Wit, I must Add
Should make you Glad
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Devilish Plans by Cokbod Lodwogo
It's funny how Protestants(all Christians)
are so quick to say that this world
is spiraling into disarray.
When they are backing the men
that are leading us into this plunge.
How dare you attack people other than
yourselves because it is yourselves
that dwell in these devilish plans.
You may think that you are letting them
attack one of the roots of the problems
but they are only making the innocent suffer.
We are turning the innocent into soldiers
by backing them into a corner.
You attack the liberals because they
are fighting against this evil movement.
It's funny a lot of these liberals are
atheists and they are better people
than you when your whole life revolves
around making yourself a better person.
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Piggy Food by David Caucutt
In a little big forest far away,
There lived three little piglets, Pig,Piggy, and Pigglay.
Two little pigs were foolish things,
But the oldest was as wise as kings.
Now each little piggy needed an abode,
So from house to house, they begged for a load.
Pig, who was lazy made himself a home of hay,
Then he looked for some butterflies and just walked away.
Piggy, who was also a lazy flick,
Got himself a big long stick,
He cracked it into thirty twigs,
And now he is in there eating earwigs.
Wise old Pigglay, he made his home of brick.
He worked so hard, that his walls were double thick.
He made himself a roof, with shingles of hard slate.
Then he made himself some food and sat down and ate.
One fateful day, a mean wolf came to eat.
He searched longingly for nice pig meat.
Lazy Pig saw him coming, and went home running.
The wolf saw him run, and came after him slobbering.
Wolf knocked on the door and yelled, 'Let me in! Let me in!'
Lazy Pig replied, 'No way! Not by the hair on my fat little chin.'
Wolf snarled and said, 'I'll blow your house down.'
And so he did, right to the ground.
Then after a good meal, wolf chops got licks,
And he went for fat free feed from the house of sticks.
He knocked on the door and asked for in,
Which was answered, 'Snort in your face I'd rather sit on a pin!'
Piggy is gone like his brother too.
Fools like them are now quite few.
Wolf was still eager for a pig,
So he went to Pigglay's house hoping to get big.
'Let me in' was not enough,
So Wolfy decided to get big and tough.
He blew for an hour and got a red facial expression.
He fell on the ground and had involuntary motion.
Pigglay, who by a heart of kindness was led,
Ran out to save the mean old airhead.
Wolf was filled up to the brim,
Pigglay's end was kind of grim.
Now the moral of this story be:
Don't be a pig who is lazy.
Good pigs always have a stop.
Their wisdom is piggish and sometimes will pop.
Work like a wolf and all will go well,
But don't blow too hard or you might go to hell.
Eat like a glutton and you shall die,
And never give in to a piggish lie.
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The Dangers Of Sleeping With Women by Dónall Dempsey
I really wanted to sleep with you
but I never thought it would be
quite...like this!
Sex...?
In a second
-you had me: stripped!
A turn & twist took all the blankets -
- as you turned into a snoring sleeping chrysalysis.
I used to think it was cute & funny.
Now it's only COLD...honey!
Aghhh! The Curse of the Mummy!
Now when you turn back - it's like an attack!
A finger in the eye..an ear...a slap!
A knee jerk into a very...private place.
Oh! Bollocks!
I used to think it was cute & funny.
You should be charged with assault...honey!
I really wanted to sleep with you!
(most nights I do) .
But mostly I lie awake
trying to escape the booby traps
your sleeping creates!
You really are - cute & funny.
But to sleep with you:
I need danger money!
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